STEVE JACKOWSKI

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Are You Really Ready for Retirement?

5/20/2015

9 Comments

 
PictureAre you ready for this?
This is not a post about whether you're financially ready for retirement.  There are plenty of tools available to help you decide if you have enough money to retire.  No, this is a post about whether you're emotionally ready for retirement.  You may think so, but the reality may be harsher than you think!

What got me going on this subject is Karen's retirement.  After spending her entire life as an accountant, Karen retired a few weeks ago.  We're now in France enjoying our first trip where neither of us has to work.  No more working while everyone at home slept, then working again when they got to the office during our evening time.  No more working more hours here that we did at home.  This time we can be really retired: we can travel and play as much as we want - that's what everyone works for, right?

Well, probably.  I'm seeing Karen go through many of the same ups and downs that I did when I started my 'retirement' three years ago.   It certainly wasn't anything I was willing to admit to at the time, but it was harder than I thought.  I claimed to not be retiring,  to be making a career transition into writing.  And while that's somewhat true, the reality is I was a technologist and entrepreneur.  I'd done that all my life.  Like most Americans, it didn't just define what I did, it defined who I was.  I must have had some thoughts of going back as is evidenced in my post Am I Done? 

In looking around at my friends, I've discovered that very few have been successful at retirement.  After six months to a year, they're back at it.  Most say they were bored.  Many say they missed the excitement.  Even more missed the social interaction that work brings.  And I'm not just talking about people in high tech.  Two lawyer friends were back at it within a year.  A chef didn't even make it six months.  Two friends in construction drove their wives crazy with projects around the house and were pushed back into building for others.  Every doctor I know has gone back to work, at least part time. 

Several more friends say they'll never retire.  Even though they have more than enough money to live on the rest of their lives, they're not willing to give up the sense of achievement they have in their careers. 

And yet there are some success stories.  A dentist friend is happy travelling and helping others get businesses started.  The former venture capitalist I mentioned in that earlier post seems to be pursuing his extreme sports with even more fervor than before.  And, I guess I'd have to say that I'm happy with my retirement.  Writing, surfing, and pursuing my other sports is actually enough for me.  Now, with Karen retired, we'll be doing a lot more travelling too.

But I did go through an adjustment, a big one.  And although people claim that it's the boredom, the lack of excitement, missing the sense of accomplishment or the people, I now believe that the real reason is much more ominous.

Karen and I discussed this in one of her down periods (which have been fewer and fewer).  When you've worked your whole life with the goal of retirement and you finally have the financial resources to get there, when the business and personal timing is right, you step out and you move into a different phase of your life. 

The title of that earlier post was more perceptive than I thought - Am I DONE? 

Being DONE is depressing.  You've worked to accomplish something.  And now it's over. It's not just the letdown because retirement doesn't meet your expectations, it's that fear that you're entering the LAST stage of your life.  Are you really ready to be DONE? 

I think this is what drives people back to work.  They look around and fear that they are done.  They're not ready to be in the LAST stage of their lives.  I admit it, I had the same fear and Karen does too. 

Maybe this is obvious to you.  But until that LAST stage is staring you in the face, you probably won't really understand how difficult it is to walk away from what you know, from what you've done, and perhaps from who you've been your whole life.

So what's the key to retirement? 

Don't be done.  

Retirement is not just a time to relax.  Sure, take a few months to catch up on your sleep, to revel in not having to be anywhere or do anything on a schedule.  Lose track of the day of the week.  But don't extend it too long.  It will get scary.  You'll find yourself on the slippery slope towards the end of your life.

 Instead, make plans, stay active, continue to make a difference in the world.  Maybe you have to go back to work to do this, but I've learned that I don't and from what I can see, Karen won't need to go back either. 

We've made plans: more sports, more dancing, travel, mentoring new business owners, getting more involved in good causes, we have a long list.  With very few financial worries and with  kids driving forward in their own successful careers, our newfound freedom guarantees that this  new phase of life is going to be the most exciting yet.

9 Comments
SharonS
5/20/2015 02:17:03 am

nicely written Steve, some valuable thinking here. After wrestling with some similar transition issues - I find my current work with the high school to be deeply rewarding and still gives me the time and freedom to pursue my hobbies and travel.

Reply
Steve link
5/20/2015 08:15:10 am

And it's clear you're really making a difference. Keep up the great work!

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annette steiner
5/20/2015 03:36:49 am

Absolutely, I know one of my big things will be volunteering in causes that are important. We all want to make a difference. I have a running list of organizations that are local.
Also, yes, realizing that our lives are finite. I think that becomes a lot more real when we are in our 60's.
Being bored I can't imagine but I hear it all the time.
Thanks for the insight Steve and here I come to retirement!

Reply
Steve link
5/20/2015 08:16:49 am

Annette, you have so many interests that I can't see you being bored either. Hopefully, with all you have planned, you'll have a bit more time to spend with us!

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Haniya link
5/20/2015 11:26:36 pm

Being bored I can't imagine but I hear it all the time.
Thanks for the insight Steve and here I come to retirement! <a title="quotes about life" href="http://kquotes.com/category/quotes-about-life/">quotes about life</a>

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Joyce E
5/27/2015 07:06:03 am

I only wish that retirement for me could have been age 55. At that age you still have to roll down the "60's" hill so you feel like a kid. Waiting until 66 is more of a bummer because in just 4 short years you are 70 and that seems so much older....maybe not but mentally it does to me. I don't think I will be bored or wish to be back at a full time gig. I am more for volunteering, working part time for a couple of doctors, reading for fun, seeing movies....nah, I won't be bored!

Reply
Steve Jackowski link
5/27/2015 07:25:58 am

I like the part about working for a couple of doctors.

I think the real challenge is realizing that this is the 'last stage'. It's scary and many people can't handle it, preferring to step back. But if you can accept that, or look at it as a next stage, not the last, it can certainly be fun.

Reply
Jan Burns
6/25/2015 04:20:28 am

Good article. I remember my first attempt at retirement...went thru all of the above, but didn't really see what was happening..so now it's time to think about the 2nd time!

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Steve Jackowski link
6/25/2015 07:39:13 am

And when is that scheduled:-)?

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    Steve Jackowski

    Writer, extreme sports enthusiast, serial entrepreneur, technologist.

     
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